...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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