; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
