Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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