You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
