once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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