remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
