So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i dont even know how to be here
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
