Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
