How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
