Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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