so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
