I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize