Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
