i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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