fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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