Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
