The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
