Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize