My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ambien. No doubt about it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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