I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
