Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
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