im six kinds of drunk right now
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Everything about him screamed your future.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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