Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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