my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
