ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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