Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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