youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
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I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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