batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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