yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
