Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize