Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
