i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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