there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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