I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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