You really coming over, don't trick.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
