got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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