I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
