i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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