Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i've created a new STD.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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