Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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