sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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