Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
