Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
