I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
