giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
