none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
