Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
