What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
