I need help removing her.
Just cropdusted the office
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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