I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
