I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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