My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's blow job season.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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