Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
