he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
