i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
