I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I currently don't understand fingers.
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