My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
