Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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