you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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