Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
worst night to have a conscience
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
