there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
