i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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