my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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