On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
