The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need a beard to bite.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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