ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
