soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize