how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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