Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm both gender and math confused
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
