You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
