first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
