these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
